Trip to the tip.
Taking out the trash!
This is what it felt like...
Biography of a nobody day 30. January 30th 2021.
I had little to no comedown from therapy today. I know last week I highlighted a lot of issues with things that have happened in my past- from childhood to much more recently- and maybe shining a light on them all in my current state of mind is what made me drop so far. Made me disconnect so much the next day. I see therapy and counselling as the equivalent of chiropractors for the brain- Absolutely necessary and although it can feel quite good during the session it hurts like hell the next day. Well this week we didn’t talk about my past at all. I gave a quick run down of my week then we got into recognising my state of mind and ways to pick me up out of it. As with the chiropractic exercises- if you don’t keep up with them its all for nothing. I spent most of my day then trying to recognise my state of mind. Am I irritable right now? Am I frustrated? I don’t think continually asking yourself those sort of things helps. My mood became a self for filling prophecy for a short period of the day until I realised that is what I was doing.
I walked Bee through majority of what I could make sense of from my counselling the night before and she has urged me to complete my “exercises”. Tidy house tidy mind- I need to go to the tip. The bins weren’t collected last week and I forgot to take them out for the 2 weeks before that. Basically I have the remnants of Christmas and January sat hiding behind my car and soon it will attract vermin. I loaded up everything a took the trip... super fun... but you know what- returning to a clean driveway has made me feel much better. Emptying the house bin later that day even felt good- as the bag could go in the outside bin instead of on top of the pile beside it. Plus, I have continually avoided the glances I am sure my neighbours must have been giving the ever growing hope dump. Now I don't need to worry- I have holla a 'hey neighbour' as I walk to my car now and not be concerned they think I am some sort of bin bag hoarder.
As the day continued me and Bee rounded some more episodes of You and realised we have consumed it pretty quickly- we have around 4 episodes remaining. It is a strange show, in a good way. Nearly every episode I feel the need to say out loud the main character is mental or 'this is crazy'. Telling myself it cant be this easy for people to do these things, but then knowing I have had first hand experience of being stalked- how much they can find out is crazy. You also go through various stages of wanting him to be caught- then certain times wanting him to get away with some of the things he does. That makes me sound crazy until you have watched it. It is interesting to watch, though if you have experienced being stalked or anything like that you may want to stay away from it?
When Bee went to bed I played some games with the guys whilst talking about the wallstreetbets reddit vs hedge funds over Gamestop (GME) and AMC entertainment. Im not going to lie, until I researched it a lot I had no idea what all this meant so I was kind of learning as we gamed. Do yourself a favour and if you are pretty new to all of this sort of thing watch this podcast if you want it explaining.
Once the guys signed off I played a little of Greedfall, awesome free game of the month on playstation plus, then went to bed and researched the wallstreetbets battle as it unfolded more.