Am I allergic to my puppy? Nah.

Talking to my manager... Why am I worried?

Biography of a nobody day 28. January 28th 2021

I still felt super sniffly last night with bouts of sneezing, so I am starting to feel like this is less a cold and more an allergy. Midnight me decided to attempt to self diagnose this and ended up deciding that I am allergic to Rusty's monthly skin shed and his dander. Mid-day me knows this is ridiculous, it is a cold whether no-one has caught it or not, I have always been around dogs and never a problem. Midnight me bought an electric no ozone creating ioniser from Amazon. Mid-day me thinks I could have found a better use for that money. Though mid-day me also realises that even if Rusty is as close to hypoallergenic as a dog can be- creating cleaner air is only going to make my friends who are allergic to dogs a little more comfortable. When they are finally allowed to visit that is. Though the ioniser I have bought will have gone through multiple bloody filters by then. Bah, having one isn't going to hurt anyone.

I realise now, at midday, that worrying about my meeting with work was also silly. I never used to worry about anything really- that will can sometimes cause a separate list of problems, but a no worry attitude often helps with those too. I figured my manager would be frustrated I wasn't back yet, that HR would be annoyed I hadn't got round to sending a copy of my sign off note from the doctor, that the place was falling apart without me. That couldn't have been further from the truth. I genuinely feel better thanks to the conversation- and the honesty in their faces when they said everything is fine also encouraged me. I was told again I am one of the best staff they have and they want me back to full strength so take as long as I need. I wont have a full workload chucked straight back on me when I return. Get the note to them as soon as I can, but no rush. Over all very positive. I don't know why I felt it would be otherwise, especially when I consider that I have never been worried what my boss, in any job, has thought about me. I have always been confident in my quality of work so have rarely found the 'I want a wage rise' conversation a nervous experience. Mainly because I would have plenty to back that up with or an alternate job that had been offered me, but that is how you do it. I have never been out of the loop of that self serving feel good "i'm good at this" state of mind you get when you achieve well at work. I don't normally like cockiness, but I feel in your attitude at work you need to be self confident as it is very easy for an employer to take advantage of a good thing. By that I mean someone who will work hard and not receive just rewards. I don't really know where I am going with this thread, but I actually felt pretty good after the meeting.

I made Bolognese for tea and watched another episode of You. Only one... as I then fell asleep. 7PM and asleep like a baby. I clearly needed it as I woke up to go upstair to bed at 8:30/9ish I stumbled upstairs, brushed my teeth, got into bed... and actually fell to sleep. No sudden alertness. Not lay still hearing every noise in the house. I just fell to sleep.