Why avoid the news?
Why do we read the news?...
I drew this self portrait 3 days into the first lockdown.
I planned on starting a blog back then... last March... oops.
Biography of a nobody day 20. January 20th 2021.
I woke up to my phone beeping another news story at me. Bee had got up early to start working from home again and Alex had joined her downstairs to play with Rusty. I made the mistake of reading the news, normally I see the headline then avoid it. Today the headline was 1800 dead in a day, the Covid latest. Why did I read more? Why do I want that to be the start to my day? I read it. I felt no better. The linked stories were no kinder in their promotion or pleasantly worded, the world is falling apart outside. Needless to say Alex still hasn’t received her negative/positive result, which makes the news read even grimmer. Either way she is no longer coughing, that is a good sign.
I washed my face and brushed my teeth then arrived downstairs to a stressed looking partner and a giggling child running around a barking puppy. I don’t think this is an ideal work environment. I calmed Alex down and put Rusty in his crate for a little bit and made Bee and I a coffee as she moved her computer to the kitchen. It should be a little calmer in here for her. We hadn’t planned on being in isolation so the house in dire need of snacks and niceties. There aren’t any biscuits left, there is no chocolate. There aren’t even any Wheetos. Ugh. Guess it is toast for breakfast then, though we are scarily low on bread.
It is afternoon now and I haven’t been feeling great. Perhaps it was because I read the news this morning or because Alex and Rusty are being little buggers but I just feel really down. Uncontrollably so. I started to tidy up in the kitchen earlier and Bee joined in by doing the bin. She took the bag out to change in and put the dirty bag on to the carpet. I then yelled for her to not put the bag there, not violently or too loud, just in a pick it up off the carpet quickly sort of way... she did not feel it was in that way. I just got frustrated because I don’t like old bin bags on the same floor the puppy and Alex crawl around on. Bin juice... isn’t nice... either way I raised my voice in her direction, and that wasn’t cool and she didn’t like it. I sorted the bin and we hugged it out. She is feeling off today too, with far more reason to be than I have. So we chatted and cuddled for a bit and we instantly felt better and more relaxed. What would I do without this woman.
Alex wouldn’t eat her dinner. Well, the vegetables. She likes to pretend she is chewing and will happily play for half an hour with the same mouthful of broccoli until she gets noticed or has chance to hide it. We have learnt that now, so try and make her eat her veg. We have tried negative reinforcement with saying she will go to bed if she doesn’t eat it. It works, but only for that mouthful, quite often she is then so worked up she wont eat anything else. We have tried positive reinforcement with promises of desserts when she has finished, or a later bedtime, or some tv time. When she has decided she doesn’t want to eat her dinner, even if it is precisely what she asked for, it rarely gets eaten. The best method we have found is to put more on her plate than we expect her to eat, then bargain away what she needs to eat to leave the table against what she doesn’t want. This results usually in her successfully eating a balanced portion of her meal. Plus I get bonus food. Win win.
Alex had a bath the went to bed with a story. She will happily sleep in her own room in her own bed which took quite a while for her to get used to in this new house. I slept on her floor for many nights as she really struggled to adjust. I got her a little torch to take to the bathroom in the night that she loved and that helped her too. Plus I leave my door open and she knows she can wake me up if she needs me, though usually if she is upset I get to her bedside before she makes it to mine.
Bee went to bed pretty early as usual and I caught another couple of episodes of the expanse. Now I am lay here feeling like there is something I want to do. Or should be doing. But I can’t figure out what it is. I am going to post this and go to bed, maybe this strange feeling will be gone in the morning.
Maybe it is because I really don’t want to forget to put the bin out tomorrow...