Lockdown vs Isolation.

You don't miss it until it is gone.

Yep. Cant even go for walks now.

Biography of a nobody day 19. January 19th 2021.

The first thing I did this morning was call up the nursery to see if anyone else had had a cough. Then call Alex’s mum to see if she had known Alex cough over the weekend at all. Alex’s mum said she hadn’t coughed over the weekend, but she did cough a little Monday morning. The nursery said two other parents had called up with the same question with their children. They were now booked for a Covid test and the nursery would let us know the results. Great. I then immediately booked Alex in for a test at our closest centre and phoned work letting them know the situation. We would await Alex’s results then book our own if she was positive. In the mean time... isolation begins. Even though we are locked down, Isolation instantly feels worse. I don't know why, nothing really changes.

I managed to get Alex a 10:30 appointment at a drive through test centre so we went and did that. Alex was really brave and didn’t cry. She did sneeze all over me though which was hilarious. I treated her to some ice cream when we got home because she was so well behaved. To be honest I think I reacted worse when I had my first late summer last year.

The rest of the day was pretty relaxed.

Rusty has continued to be amazing, and often is as happy playing with Alex as he is sleeping next to her on the sofa when she is eating a snack. He has fit into our family instantly and I no can’t imagine it without him. Could do without the poo... but hey it isn’t too bad.

The Dr has confirmed my leave extension as well so I have passed on my new return to work date. I am looking forward to that to be honest. I have another little chunk of time to get my head straight, I think it will be ok.

One of the main things that happened to me personally today was... I... found my inner voice again. This may sound ridiculous, maybe I am crazy, maybe everyone has one? But mine is the little voice or thought train that makes me improve. Urges me to do better. The voice that says do the pots now not later. The voice that when you are doing the pots notices the bin is full and gets you to sort that too. The voice that is asking me to write this now not at 2AM after some gaming. Now it is back I realised how much I needed it. How much I really wanted to be urged to be better, urged to work harder. All of that had gone. I feel like it was drowned out in confusion. Or cloudiness.

Let's hope the same voice is going to urge me to workout after I have finished putting this up on my blog. Well it is here... but it isn’t louder than the voice recommending I watch another episode of the Expanse first.